haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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