You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
