she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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