Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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