she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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