So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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