the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
