you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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