I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
