"it" just moved
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize