eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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