OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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