is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize