my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
