i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
God, I missed his penis.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
