Moan for me like Helen Keller
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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