Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
