If i come over, it means nothing
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
