chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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