she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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