Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
