the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
