I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
