She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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