Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
