I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
