Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
