Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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