I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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