the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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