sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
