i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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