He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
