it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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