We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
