Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So apparently I’m into choking now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
