so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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