I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
