he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
