I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
