worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
