insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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