You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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