Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
