wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
40s are totally the cure
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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