just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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