Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
