All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
