You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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