My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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