YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
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I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan