Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.