when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
