So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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