grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
