I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Still dying that you shit outside
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
